John Marshall Roberts has some friendly advice for would-be greenwashers looking to ramp up their game. (For those of you out there who insist on responsible green marketing, just do the opposite.)

Over the past few years, many companies have sought to capitalize on the sustainability revolution with a variety of shallow and insincere marketing campaigns, or what is commonly referred to as "greenwashing." Unfortunately, these companies have generally been left to create such campaigns without the help of a set of explicit principles that could help them take their manipulation up to the next level...until now! The following five communication strategies, properly applied, will most certainly make your green marketing more cringe-worthy and offensive.

Strategy #1: Seek first to manipulate.

Manipulative intentions are the life-blood of any noteworthy greenwashing campaign. Whether you are selling a product, cause, or service, you must first make sure that your hidden sponsoring intention is to cajole and manipulate others for personal gain. This may seem obvious, but for many earnest marketers the temptation to be authentic and transparent is just too great.

For an excellent example of this principle in action, look no further than the marketers for a once popular high-end SUV that shall remain nameless. In response to rampant criticism that their vehicles were environmentally irresponsible, the marketers of this vehicle ran a series of billboard ads with the provocative tag line "Thirsty for adventure. Not for gas." Instead of tackling their product's environmental inefficiencies head on, the creative minds for this campaign sought to deliver false information bluntly and directly, with little or no tact. The results? This SUV's sales have continued to tank, and cynicism towards their brand has reached an all-time high.

Strategy #2: Misuse green buzzwords.

A particularly common use of this tactic can be seen in the abundant "green" issues offered by mainstream pop-culture lifestyle magazines. With some notable exceptions, these magazine apply green cliches liberally, and give little or no information about the actual non-green printing practices that went into creating the publications themselves. The cumulative effect of this approach is to make the sustainability movement itself seems somewhat goofy, trendy, and self-important.

Strategy #3: Underestimate your audience's intelligence.

People are smart. When we talk down to them, we are secretly implying that they are mental midgets. It can help to carry a generic image in your mind of the consumer as a shallow mindless creature with a poor capacity for rational thought. By viewing them this way, you'll be sure to automatically communicate in a way that evokes an unconscious sense of resentment for you and your company.

One great example of this tactic in action comes from a major office supplies giant. Anyone seeking to purchase recycled office paper at this particular franchise will notice that all packages of paper contain the highly recognizable recycle symbol. However, closer inspection reveals that only a very small portion of the actual packages for sale are actually derived from recyclable, sustainable materials. Most of them have no recycled content whatsoever! The use of this symbol on packages of paper that are created from unsustainable materials is a blatant assault on the intelligence of the average consumer. Are we having fun yet?

Strategy #4: Provide no evidence for your claims.

Evidence leads to rational thinking, which quite often leads to the truth. If you want to create marketing that bypasses the truth completely, make certain not to include any evidence to support your claims. Pretty simple, right? But you'll be surprised how effective this simple tactic can be for undermining your credibility and watering down your message.

My personal favorite examples of this tactic in action comes from a major American car manufacturers new "Gas-friendly to gas-free" advertising campaign. This slogan, typically posted on a green billboard or placard with no supporting evidence or claims, is a wonderful example of a company expecting people to blindly accept feel-good green sentiments without the use of logic or reason. Way to go!

Strategy #5: Mask your motive with altruistic-sounding propaganda.

Transparency leads to a sense of relatedness and trust avoid it like the plague! Instead, hide your motives with the tried-and-true methods of euphemistic distraction and altruistic propaganda. Many marketers have attempted this over the past decades but none have succeeded quite so brilliantly as those who work for the coal industry.

Through a contrived nonprofit group with very deep pockets, the U.S. coal industry is scheduled to spend more than $35 million dollars on marketing propaganda in 2008. This propaganda is strategically designed to inject the coal industry's agenda into the political race under the pretense of concern with the economy and job creation. Unfortunately I don't have space to outline every aspect of this impressively ambitious greenwashing feat in one humble article. Rest assured, when it comes to ambitious greenwashing, we all have a lot to learn from the skillful propaganda of highly entrenched special interest groups that represent dying sectors of our energy infrastructure!

In Conclusion...

Let's face it: One short article could never teach you everything you need to know in order to create marketing platforms that offend the sense of decency in your fellow man. But we have to start somewhere. Not all of us are born manipulators, but with practice we can all surely improve. I am confident that, should you be willing to do the hard work, you too will eventually be able to tune out your basic human desire for authenticity, and your deeper impulse to be of service to the planet we share.

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John Marshall Roberts is an author, speaker, and communications strategist for a variety of sustainable and socially conscious clients. His new book, "Igniting Inspiration: A Persuasion Manual for Visionaries," is available here. Find more information on his blog.